Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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