Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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