I want to have your abortion
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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