I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
