so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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