Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
be right there i have to get my cape
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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