Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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