I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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