working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
