forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
