i think my tv is drunk
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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