We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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