u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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