I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
