We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
