Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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