I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
