before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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