he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
