I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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