weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
