last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
