is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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