Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
