Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
