I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
