I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
