So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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