ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
