butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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