im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
