"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
