Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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