sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
