Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
