I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
