Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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