i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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