Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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