what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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