and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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