I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
