I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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