lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
