I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
