if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
