Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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