You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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