so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
