I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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