Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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