i think my tv is drunk
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
